What a crazy month March has been so far with school work, balancing two jobs and entering a new relationship!
I feel like these days I don't even have time to think anymore about just regular things.
My mind is running from here and there trying to meet deadlines, catch the next subway, or find some time to sleep.
Yet, I think it's important to just sit down on my bed sometimes before I sleep, even with so many things going through my mind. And when I'm too tired for that, I guess that's exactly the reason why I shower for so long because of thoughts flowing mindlessly in my head.
Spring break hasn't been a big deal to me this year considering I spent three days working over 5 hours without eating any real meals. By the time I come home, I just want to piggy out, and fall asleep to see the clarity of next morning.
But i also realized in order for myself to find such clarity, I need to realize things first.
These days, I realized probably one of my biggest flaws: self-doubt. I realize I question too much in generally everything. I question my faith, my habits, my work ethics, my whatever the case is there is always the slightest of doubt deep within me. I realize that I am truly a weak person to the core, and am in constantly needing of reassurance. Too many good things seem to simply pass by me and all because I have such little faith in myself and my abilities.
It simply takes small steps and the courage to move forward- I need to start trusting in myself, and most importantly leaving things to God. Relying on just my own sometimes gets me no where or even worse situations I always come to regret.
Here's to a stronger me from now on.
Sandy
