So I decided to try regularly blogging because so many things have been happening and falling on me since new years. And since I have no patience (yet) to writing in a real diary, this blog will have to do.
Past years, I only visited this blog to see other blogs. I would only update when I experienced emotional ups and downs, never anything important or out of the ordinary.. I've neglected this blog for about I think 3-4 years? It's really sad, actually to think about all the wasted days and memories I could have treasured.
Just a quick update on my life-
The past year 2010 has been, in one word, life-changing. I've met so many different people, those who have loved and hurt me in some or many ways.. through all the happiness and the pain though, I'd like to believe that each individual who has walked into or away from my life has truly changed me in one way or another. I am really thankful for that. I think though I experienced more pain..more than anything especially recently with someone. Even though I did not know this person closely, the few times we were together.. it made me hope and hurt and hope again, over and over I was overwhelmed or ready to break down in tears. It's been hard especially since I've let go. But I'm not sure where my feelings lay presently, I just need time to heal again and find myself. Staying in New York City has been so hard, since I know the person is so close by. But I'm learning to become strong once again. Thank you, God for truly helping me to see how wrong I've been the past few months. I think I really need the time to get my act together and just learn to move on.. it's going to be .. hard at times- the loneliness, the memories, the everything I'm sorry but I don't want to be broken anymore.
I still have a week left before my classes start again. I haven't really been productive the last two weeks, but I'm ready to move onwards! I'm going to look for jobs and internships hopefully for the summer. I need to start studying for my LSAT's and just learn to fall in love with reading again. My eating habits have gone awry, that needs to be fixed also. This weekend, I plan to go home and be with my family for the last time. I'm very hopeful for the future, 2011- please bring good, new things and some people that I deserve to have in my life. Let me not make the same mistakes as I did. Let me be a happier person with a stronger sense of herself and where she is in the world. Let me be a stronger Christian and avoid temptations in this city of deceit and sin. Tomorrow starts a new day, I'm going to embrace it with a new heart and new mind.
Farewell- Rosie Thomas
Sandy
